Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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