Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I have fence marks all over my body
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize