I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Randomize
