it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
