the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
