i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I wish i was in the wii world.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize