Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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