I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
