brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
