i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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