On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
