the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dear god my vagina.
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