I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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