I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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