a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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