it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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