i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
