Walk of Shame. In a state park.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
