we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
