well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
