Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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