I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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