....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
