Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
