She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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