Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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