So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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