wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
