I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
