did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
