I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
