so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
