This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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