so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
