i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
