it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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