Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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