How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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