apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize