just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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