dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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