dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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