This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
