I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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