It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
