It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
