I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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