she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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