The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize