One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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