Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
