Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
