5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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