God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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