First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize