Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
