rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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