Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize