ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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