she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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