Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
